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God's Solution
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God:

"Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, you've created me and provided this beautiful spot, these wonderful animals, and that comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the voice from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, perhaps I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a man, Lord?"

"Man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster, and stronger than you. And while he'll need your advice to think properly, he'll be good at fighting, kicking a ball around, hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack.

"Sounds good to me," says Eve. "But isn't there a catch, Lord?"

"Yeah, well, there is one."

"What's that, Lord?"

"You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."