I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens
-woody allen

You Might Be A Redneck If:
-None of your shirts cover your stomach.
-You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
-Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan
-You think genitalia is an Italian airline.
-You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.
-The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

How do you know when you're staying in a Arkansas hotel?
When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink,"
and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."